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Why do children experience recurrent respiratory infections?

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Post date 19/09/2023
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Source: Registered Chinese medicine practitioner, Tsui Chak Cheong

If a child frequently experiences recurrent respiratory infections, such as frequent colds and coughs, from the perspective of Chinese medicine, it is also caused by deficiency of Qi in the lung and spleen and deficiency of the lung and spleen, leading to a weakened immune system. These children often feel tired due to lung qi deficiency and may lack energy when speaking. If they have spleen deficiency, they may experience loss of appetite or easily have diarrhea. From the Chinese medicine standpoint, the focus is on taking care of the lung and spleen, which involves nurturing their qi to enhance their resistance.

If a child has just recovered from an illness but quickly falls ill again or experiences recurrent respiratory infections, it falls under the category of recurrent respiratory infections. For example, after recovering from an illness, the child may catch another cold within one or two weeks, leading to another respiratory infection. From the Chinese medicine perspective, it can be determined as recurrent respiratory infections in children, where the frequency and number of illnesses are higher than average.

Or it could be that in the past, it wasn’t like this. Previously, you might have gotten sick three times a year, but this year, it’s possible that within just six months, you’ve already been falling ill every month or once every two weeks. In such cases, it’s possible that there are underlying issues with your child’s health.

How can diet effectively prevent colds? The key is to have a light and balanced diet, pay attention to nutrition, and maintain a proper balance between activity and rest. In daily meals, it’s important to consume more vitamin C and vitamin A to strengthen the body’s immune system. Parents can prepare carrot soup and try to minimize the consumption of fried, heavily seasoned, and hard-to-digest foods for children because their digestive capacity is still weak, which is a characteristic of spleen deficiency. If children frequently consume fast food or indulge in hard-to-digest and highly seasoned snacks, their bodies may accumulate phlegm and heat. This accumulation, combined with the invasion of external pathogenic factors, can create a susceptibility to frequent colds.

If you want recommended soup, there is a type of soup called “Yukpingfung San.” The main ingredients of it are astragalus, white atractylodes, and saposhnikovia root. When preparing the soup, we can use these three medicinal herbs along with a lean meat and a few honey dates.

How to handle a child’s anxiety about starting primary school?

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Post date 18/09/2023
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Source: Marriage and Family Therapist, Ng Yee Kam

When a child enters first grade and fails to adapt, some may frequently express their longing for their mothers at school and even experience a loss of appetite. Parents are concerned about their child’s anxiety and may continuously tell them, “As long as you do your best, Mom doesn’t care about grades!” But does this approach effectively address the child’s anxiety, or does it backfire?

First of all, parents need to understand that the transition from kindergarten to first grade is a significant change for a child. It truly takes a long time for the child to adapt. In the first-grade stage, the workload increases, rules become stricter, and teachers are more demanding. Children may experience anxiety, leading to various physical symptoms or fear of going to school.

So, how much time does a child need to adapt? It actually varies from person to person. Generally speaking, more introverted or observant children are prone to anxiety, so it may take them a relatively longer time to adapt. Therefore, parents should first understand their child’s personality and temperament, adjust their expectations during this adaptation period, and never compare their child with other children.

Dr. Daniel Siegel, an American psychiatrist, has proposed a very useful method called “Name it to Tame it.” When parents observe emotional fluctuations in their children, they first use their left brain to analyze what might be happening with their child. Parents should use both their left and right brains, empathizing with the child’s feelings and situation, and then verbalize what they perceive the child is feeling. This is the “Name it” step.

For example, you can say to your child, “Are you feeling scared? Are you feeling worried? It seems like you have no appetite. Is there something you’re anxious about?” When we are able to express the child’s emotions, we are actually delineating what the child is experiencing in their right brain very clearly.

For older children, parents can encourage them to express their emotions themselves, and parents can respond to them. This connection between the adult’s and the child’s right brain helps stabilize anxious emotions. We refer to this process as “Connect.” After the connection is established, we can engage in conversation about other topics with the child.

However, parents should remember that when a child expresses their emotions, we must avoid saying things like, “Don’t worry, it’s silly, don’t think about these things,” or “You’re fine as you are, just do your best.” If we respond with our left brain, we cannot alleviate the right brain’s anxiety or bring calmness to the child’s midbrain responsible for emotions.

Lastly, when parents are able to use emotional vocabulary and verbalize what is happening in the child’s mind, it means transforming some of the emotions in the right brain into left brain cognition. This process is called “Redirect.” When we cognitively understand what we are experiencing and feeling, our right brain will find ways to solve the problem, which is referred to as “Problem Solving.”

The sequence mentioned above is crucial when dealing with a child’s anxiety and nervousness. Besides the order, parents also need to have patience. We need to be patient in helping the child understand their emotions so that we can come up with strategies together.

Three years old determines eighty? What influences personality?

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Post date 18/09/2023
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Written by: Registered educational psychologist, Pang Chi Wah

When I arrived at a friend’s birthday party, I saw a group of children milling around, having a good time. In another corner of the living room, several children were engrossed in reading their beloved extracurricular books, completely absorbed in their activity. The distinction between active and quiet children became immediately apparent. Are these traits of being active or quiet innate qualities encoded in our genetic makeup, or are they shaped by the nurturing and parenting methods of our upbringing?

Stepping into the nursery room at the hospital, one can witness a variety of behaviors among the infants. Despite their different physical appearances, each baby possesses their own distinctive qualities. Some babies are incredibly active, constantly moving their hands and feet as if riding a bicycle. On the other hand, there are babies who resemble sleeping princesses or princes, spending most of their days in deep slumber, appearing content. These individual characteristics also manifest during feeding time. Some babies are more proactive, eagerly consuming their food, causing concern that they might accidentally choke. Others are quite passive, eating slowly, savoring each bite as if enjoying a gourmet delicacy.

Some children, from birth, dislike sleeping and prefer playing all day long. No matter how hard parents try to put them to sleep, their efforts often prove futile, leaving themselves exhausted. However, there are children who, from ages 0 to 6, already exhibit a preference for quietness. They can happily engage in quiet play for an entire afternoon, finding contentment and tranquility. So, at what point does the disposition of being active or quiet begin to take shape? Undoubtedly, a child’s personality is partly inherited from their parents, but it should not be hastily assumed and fixed too early.

Taking various animals in a circus as an example, each possesses unique innate traits. Lions and tigers tend to be fierce, while bears and monkeys also have their wild side. However, through training, their personality traits can be altered, allowing animal trainers to safely perform alongside them. For parents, the focus lies in accepting their child’s active or quiet nature rather than fixating on when this disposition solidifies.

Accepting a child’s innate qualities does not mean determining whether they are active or quiet. Parents must maintain an open-minded attitude because, with careful nurturing, children still have room to develop in different directions. However, isn’t this contradictory? On one hand, we should accept a child’s traits, and on the other hand, we should cultivate their interests in various areas. How can we strike a balance? Parents need to navigate this contradiction and find a middle ground that allows for the healthy development of their child’s body and mind.

I still remember watching a documentary about killer whales not long ago. It described how killer whales, despite having their innate nature, also acquire certain characteristics from the local communities they grow up in, making them either more aggressive or more benevolent. In reality, innate personality traits and the influences of culture and environment have an interactive relationship. Parents should avoid giving up on nurturing their child based solely on their natural disposition. By aligning with a child’s innate qualities and providing them with a suitable and stimulating environment, perhaps the notion that “three years old determines eighty” may not hold true after all!

Common questions about promoting to Primary School: Experts answer for you

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Post date 18/09/2023
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Source: Education expert, Chiu Wing Tak

Question: In the scoring system for enrolling in Primary One, how are twins scored? If the two have different personalities, should they choose to attend the same school for convenience?

Answer: Actually, there is a system in place for twins. There are two possibilities: both are accepted, or neither is accepted. If both are accepted, both children will receive an additional 5 points. It is not a matter of distinguishing between “older twin” or “younger twin.” If the two children have different personalities, it doesn’t matter. In the school I used to work at, we often admitted twins, and if their personalities were different, we would assign them to different classes.

Each class is taught by teachers with different personalities, who can cater to students with different personalities, so parents can rest assured. It’s not necessary to enroll them in two different schools, as it would be burdensome for parents. However, in the case of direct subsidized schools or private schools, extra caution is needed, as there may be situations where one child is accepted while the other is not.

Question: Is applying to 20 direct subsidized or private primary schools the minimum requirement?

Answer: This really depends on individual circumstances, and every parent’s situation is different. Some parents apply to many schools out of concern. The key factor is how many schools you actually interview with. If you plan to apply to 20 schools, scheduling conflicts can become quite severe. However, the most important thing is not to burden the child too much. If the child is suffering, it will also cause distress for the parents.

Another question is, why are you applying to 20 schools? Some parents claim it’s to let their child “warm up.” But actually, you don’t need to apply to 20 schools just to warm up. If you drive the car a few times, you can warm up, right? So there’s no need to apply to 20 schools; around 5 or 6 would be sufficient. Additionally, if a child has to attend multiple interviews, their performance will gradually decline because they will become tired and exhausted. When they start giving up or feeling unsuccessful, it can greatly impact their confidence.

Question: If the first-choice primary school’s first-round interview clashes with the second-round interview of the second-choice school, both of which are popular schools, and the second-choice school has a higher chance of acceptance with the second-round interview, it seems wasteful to give up the second-round interview after the child’s previous efforts. How should I make a choice?

Answer: Are both schools equally liked by the parent? If both schools are equally liked, then of course, choosing the second-round interview school would be the option. Because with the second-round interview, there is a high chance of proceeding to the third round and then getting accepted. If you don’t equally like both schools, even if you have a second-round interview, it won’t be useful. So the key point is whether you equally like both schools. If you really like the first-round interview school, I think you should choose that one because if you are accepted to a school you really like, you will definitely go there. So the choice should not be based on which round of the interview but rather on which school you like the most.

Question: Do prestigious primary schools consider parents’ backgrounds? Will they discount the child’s admission if the parents do not hold prominent positions?

Answer: If it is a government or subsidized school, there is actually no place to fill in the parents’ background. They only consider whether you have hereditary status, whether your scores are sufficient, and whether you are lucky enough. So government or subsidized schools do not consider parents’ backgrounds. But if you are applying to a private or direct subsidized schools, there may be opportunities for them to inquire about your background or require you to provide such information. In the past, many parents were concerned that they didn’t have prestigious occupations, or their positions were ordinary, and they wondered if the school would reject their child because of that.

In my opinion, many educators, even in prestigious schools, do not necessarily consider parents’ backgrounds. They truly focus on the child themselves, and some schools may not even interview the parents. Of course, there are some prestigious schools that are concerned about the family’s income or support, but it may not necessarily be related to the parents’ occupation. However, parents should not decide not to apply to those schools just because they do not hold prominent positions.

How to enhance the confidence of shy children?

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Post date 15/09/2023
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Source: Family Marriage Therapist/Art Therapist, Ko Wing Oi

In reality, many parents feel that their children are shy and want to enhance their self-confidence so that they can have more confidence in talking to others. This actually depends on the child’s personality because sometimes children may be slower to warm up or feel more fearful about speaking to strangers. A child’s shyness may be related to their upbringing and experiences during their growth process.

In today’s busy world, many parents have limited opportunities to take their children out to play and interact with other children due to work commitments. This can gradually result in children only feeling comfortable communicating with older family members or siblings. When they encounter peers of the same age, they may not know how to play together. Additionally, many parents tend to speak on behalf of their children, especially when they are unable to express themselves. Sometimes parents may feel impatient and quickly guess what the child wants, saying things like, “Do you want this? Do you want that?” This often makes the child hesitant to express their true thoughts and feelings.

Parents unintentionally prevent their children from learning how to express themselves or become dependent on their parents to speak for them. However, there are various ways to help children communicate with other children or adults in different environments. For example, through interactive activities or games at home, parents can ask the child questions like, “If we meet other children to play at the playground, what can you do to join them?” Role-playing with family members can also be beneficial in helping children gain confidence in social interactions.

Children primarily learn from their environment, including their parents, siblings, school, friends, and even through sources like online news, television, or cartoons, where they learn behaviors and speech patterns. Therefore, when playing games at home, it’s important to set a good example and show them how to communicate, speak, and express themselves effectively.

Sometimes, it’s necessary to give children time to think about how to express themselves instead of rushing to speak for them or completing their sentences. Even if they make a mistake, it’s important not to say, “That’s not how you do it!” as it can scare the child. It’s better to analyze the situation together and discuss how it could have been done correctly. Parents should try to engage in more analysis with the child, asking questions like, “Why is it not okay to say it that way? Because speaking like that might hurt other children. How would you feel if someone spoke to you in that manner?” Teaching them different communication methods can help them interact with strangers and communicate effectively in different environments.

How can I avoid being biased when caring for two children?

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Post date 15/09/2023
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Source: Registered Clinical Psychologist, Yiu Fong Lee

Parents are sometimes overwhelmed when faced with two children. For example, when the older sibling comes to you, the younger sibling is crying. Often, we only care for the younger sibling and neglect the older one, who may say that the parents are biased and only care for the younger one. How do we try to balance the care between the two children and make them feel equally loved?

In the case of the above, perhaps when an older sibling comes to see you, your mother should tell him, “I need to take care of the younger sibling now because he may not be feeling well or he is crying. This will let the older sibling know that his mother needs to look after his younger sibling, “but mom is also very concerned about your situation, so why don’t I come back to you later, when mum has had some time to see what you need or to talk to you?”

Of course, if both parents are at home, the work can be divided. The father will stay with the older child and the mother will stay with the younger child, but Hong Kong people are busy and there may be only one parent at home, so there is a need to prioritise. When to take care of older children? When to take care of younger children?

The second scenario is to invite older brother or sister to join you in caring for younger sibling, for example, “Why don’t you come and help me and we’ll try together to see if we can calm him down together. For example, pat him, sing to him or talk to him. If the older brother or sister does this, the mother can give recognition and encouragement: “You are really doing a good job, you are a very good brother or sister, I am really happy to have such a good little helper. This makes him feel that he can be a part of it and that he can be a big brother or sister to help us out!

But after we have comforted the junior, we need to go back to the older sibling, asking him why he was coming to me. Does he want to talk to me or play with me?

Also, the most important thing is bedtime, as this is the most intimate time for bonding. If both children are also in a stable mood, we can have a nighttime routine for the three of us before bed. For example, we can sing together, listen to stories, and give each other a pat or a back massage. Mum may be able to pat both children while singing; we may pat one child with the left hand and one with the right, and invite a bigger brother or sister to join in the patting process. Maybe he pats his mom with one hand and his younger brother with the other, so that there is an intimate moment shared by the three of us, and sleep is like a relationship with the parents, but at the same time a time when the three of us are together.

We need to create regular and separate one-to-one special parent-child time, for example, mom with the older child on Monday evenings from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. and dad with the younger child on Tuesday evenings from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m.

In this way, the roles of the parents are switched and they spend time with different children, one on one, so that they can feel that their parents have a close time with them during this special parent-child time and so that the child can choose what he likes to play with, and then the parents follow the child’s suggestions and let the child take the lead.

For example, if he wants to play with toys, be with him; if he wants to play board games, be with him. At that time, just accompany him wholeheartedly. You may describe how he is feeling at the moment or what he is doing, so that he can feel that his parents are willing to give their time and love to him, and you may also plan for his siblings to have this special bonding time so that they can feel that their parents love them equally. We hope that the above methods will help parents manage the relationship between the two children so that they can feel equally loved by their parents.

The expenses of having children are particularly high. How can parents manage their finances effectively for themselves?

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Post date 15/09/2023
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Source: Founder of Piggy Gaga Financial Education, Sang Chan.

Raising children is often described as “bit pricey,” meaning that expenses increase significantly. As parents, how can we manage our finances effectively? Many parents believe that their income level determines their quality of life. While income is certainly related to quality of life, there is something even more important. If every family handles it well, their quality of life can still be greatly improved, and that is how they manage their income.

Each parent can use a simple financial concept, known as the financial pyramid, to allocate their monthly income. The underlying principle of this financial pyramid explains how to divide and allocate every dollar earned to the appropriate areas, maximizing the value of each dollar. By following the construction and operation of this financial pyramid, the financial situation of every family can become increasingly healthy.

At the base of the pyramid, the first step is to allocate around 5% of the income to Mandatory Provident Fund (MPF). After setting aside funds for MPF, the next level is to allocate for our basic needs. Basic needs refer to our necessities such as clothing, food, housing, and transportation. As parents, this also includes the daily supplies for our children, such as formula milk and diapers. It may even include their educational expenses as they grow older.

Approximately 50% of the total income should be allocated to cover basic needs, which is a reasonable level. After managing basic needs, we then have to consider taxes. The amount of taxes varies for each individual. In Hong Kong, approximately 5% of the income is usually manageable for taxes.

After allocating for these three levels, how can we manage the remaining money to gradually improve our quality of life? The first part is allocating around 10% of our income to liquid cash. Another 10% can be allocated to asset protection, where the most important asset is ensuring our own and our family’s well-being

After arranging these two 10% allocations, we have approximately 20% of the income remaining. This 20% can be allocated to asset appreciation, allowing us to achieve some important life goals. Sometimes, parents may ask, “Do we need to be very wealthy as a family to engage in financial management? Can we manage our finances even if our income is just enough?”

High-income families are like large houses, and they may have more things to take care of. They might have a storage room where all the miscellaneous items can be stored and the door closed. The whole house will then become tidy, and the overall management will be much simpler.

But if our house is not that big, metaphorically representing our income, we can imagine a small house. If we take good care of it, it can still lead to a better quality of life. If our income is more abundant, of course, there will be more room for financial management. However, if our income is just enough, it becomes even more important to manage it well.

There are various claims about eye protection. Which one is true?

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Post date 15/09/2023
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Source：Specialist in Ophthalmology, Dr. Chan Cheuk Ki

Eyes are the windows to our souls, and we should take good care of them. There are various claims regarding eye protection, so which ones are true?

Claim 1 — Looking at more green scenery can prevent myopia?

To prevent myopia, we can start with environmental factors, such as cultivating good reading habits. We can follow the 20-20-20 rule, which means taking a 20-second break every 20 minutes of reading. During the break, you can close your eyes or look at something 20 feet away, like green trees. Therefore, the popular belief that looking at green scenery can rest the eyes is not about the color green itself but about focusing on distant objects. When looking at distant objects, the ciliary muscles of the eye, responsible for lens adjustment, can relax, slowing down the progression of myopia.

Claim 2 — Doing eye massages can prevent myopia?

As for eye massages, there is currently no scientific evidence to support their effectiveness. However, there is a small tip for everyone: research conducted abroad has shown that engaging in more outdoor activities can help reduce the progression of myopia. Therefore, parents can take their children to the countryside or parks more often to play.

Claim 3 — Wearing glasses irregularly can worsen myopia

Firstly, myopia is the ability to see clearly up close but blurrier in the distance. If a child has myopia and needs to see clearly in the distance, such as during class, wearing glasses is necessary to have a clearer vision and not hinder learning. However, if a child has a mild degree of myopia, around 100 to 200 degrees, they can actually take off their glasses when looking at close objects like doing homework. As long as they can see close objects clearly at an appropriate distance without glasses, it is fine. However, it is important to note that if a child has amblyopia or strabismus, they must strictly follow the doctor’s instructions and may need to wear glasses for an extended period if necessary. Failing to do so may worsen the condition of strabismus or amblyopia.

Parents Zone

Can children strengthen their limb muscles at home?

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Post date 15/09/2023
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Source: Registered Physiotherapist, Hui Wing Yee

Children have a heavy academic workload and spend more time at home, losing many opportunities to exercise. However, the development of children’s limb muscles is very important, and some stretching exercises for the waist and upper limbs can be done at home.

The first set of exercises is the lunge and twist, which helps to exercise the core muscles and lower limb muscles. First, open your feet to hip width, place your hands on both sides of your body, step out with your right foot to maintain a 90-degree angle on both knees, open your hands with palms facing forward, slowly turn to the right, and hold for two seconds. Then return to the original position with hands hanging down, repeating on both sides ten times.

The second set of exercises is quadruped limb raises. These exercises help strengthen our back and limb muscles. If possible, use a yoga mat to avoid putting pressure on your knees. First, start on all fours with your hands shoulder-width apart and your knees hip-width apart. Lift your right hand and left leg straight out, creating a horizontal line. Tighten your back and abdominal muscles, hold for two seconds, then switch to your left hand and right leg. Alternate between both sides for a total of ten reps.

What is the reason behind a child being unable to sit still in class?

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Post date 15/09/2023
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Source: School Supervisor’s Notes by author Wu Shan-ying

Children may have trouble sitting still in class due to either being too energized or being a gifted student or having ability issue. How do these two situations cause them to be unable to sit still, and how can parents help them?

For gifted students, they need to use two sensory systems at the same time to stabilize their attention. For example, if a gifted student needs to count and write down steps to solve a problem, how can they be encouraged to do so calmly? One method is to listen to music, and in fact, many adults also listen to music while working to calm their minds. When listening to music while working, it occupies two of your senses at the same time, so you don’t have spare capacity to command your hands or feet to move, which helps to keep you calm.

Another reason why some children are unable to sit still is due to ability issues. Simply put, if you ask a 3-year-old to do something at the level of a 7-year-old, it is beyond their abilities, but this is a common practice in Hong Kong. As children grow older, their self-awareness will relatively increase.

As I mentioned earlier with a reading comprehension exercise, a child already said, “This is too hard, I’m just a K3 student.” They already know they don’t understand, so asking them to do it anyway is meaningless. As a teacher, you should break down the article and teach it in parts to cultivate a child’s correct mindset. The child showed me the article and said, “I don’t understand even the first sentence.” I replied, “Then let’s skip it and focus on the main idea first.” The child gradually guessed the main idea with one or two understandable words, and eventually understood the content and purpose of the article.

Therefore, as long as a child feels capable of doing something, they will gradually read through the entire article and eventually realize that they are capable of understanding it. You need to determine the reason why a child cannot concentrate. some are too fast in thinking, some are incompetent, some are unable to hear, even if they concentrate, or they cannot control themselves. All of these reasons need to be identified and addressed.